Who Review: A Fan Who Cried Mercy

It’s the start of a new episode of Doctor Who and my first thought is: have we put Terminator on by accident? Already, we are not off to a great start. 

The synopsis for A Town Called Mercy begins “The Doctor has a Stetson (and a gun!)”. Which sets me up for another episode full of ridiculous over-the-top stabs at quirkiness and no substance. I really tried to like this episode, I really really did. I don’t want to hate it. I’m a Whovian and I have four TARDISes in me bedroom. But there are just far too many faults that scream off the screen at me. It is because I love the show so much as a whole that I get so angry when it’s dragged through the dirt. Putting aside the antagonist being almost entirely plagiarised, the endless list of general plot-holes and the fact that there is literally no reason for our trio to even be in Mercy, there is still so much left to talk about. Oh yes, this is going to be another ranting review. 

I have the funniest feeling that we've met before...

First things first: this is not my Doctor. My Doctor would not face death with barely any resistance and simply wait for it (something he also did in Asylum of the Daleks). My Doctor would not shrug off a decision about someone’s life with an “I don’t know. What Amy said.” My Doctor would not throw our anyone to their death as readily as Eleven does in this episode. No, my Doctor would talk at a stupid speed negotiating around his imminent death, debate vigorously about the fate of a war criminal and would most certainly not opt to send somebody to their death as a first resort. What happened to him? I know this is not a regeneration issue, because these are brand new (un)developments  that Eleven had not previously shown. The Doctor is the protagonist of the show; can we please try to keep him being somebody I like?
 

I have never missed you more, Doctor

When I’m reading fiction online written by amateurs (such as myself!), something I see a lot is the poor technique of ‘telling not showing’. This is particularly awkward in prose, but can be just as bad in television. There are two instances in A Town Called Mercy where we have a nice long sit-down exposition, where everyone asks questions and somebody answers them all neatly. It’s terribly exciting, and not at all patronising to the viewer would otherwise not be able to work out what was going on… come on Moffat. You are a professional. Please give us some credit. Your exposition scenes made me much more interested in watching the family dog chase a fly around the room.

There were a few things I actually enjoyed about this episode, though sadly not enough to plaster over my general disappointment. The humour in Series 5 + episodes is something I have always enjoyed (“That’s what you said when you left your phone charger in Henry IVV’s en-suite”), and the cinematography in this episode was absolutely stunning. Visually at least, it really did feel as though I was watching a Hollywood blockbuster, and not a humble British television drama. The moment the Doctor realised the truth about Kahler Jex was particularly beautiful, the assumed brutal images on the computer screen reflecting off his disappointed eyes. But this is a congratulation I give to the technical team, and I cannot help but wish bitterly that as much effort went into the actual plot. Plot elements such as the reference to Amy as a mother and the complicated nature of Jex being both a healer and a killer could have been the episodes saving grace, but they were elements that were swept over quickly. More time was given to the Doctor conversing with a horse.

A transexual horse. Because a transexual human being would have been too much?

In an episode of Doctor Who Confidential (I am still gutted that they stopped doing that) I remember one of the writers saying something along the lines of, “When you finish writing an episode of Doctor Who, you have to think… well, that blows that idea for a feature film out of the water.” And I believe this to be entirely true. It is something that Russell T Davies managed to do consistently in every forty-five minute episode, without compromising on the pace or depth of the plot. Unfortunately, it is yet another task that Steven Moffat does not do particularly well. The sad thing is, this episode really could have had the potential to be a feature film (ignoring the fact that one element of it already is, cough, Terminator, cough). But everything felt incredibly rushed, underdeveloped and everyone kept chopping and changing their attitudes too quickly. There are a lot of moments that had so much potential, only because (once again) everything is so crammed in they lack depth and so made me feel nothing.

As a completely isolated point, I would also like to just mention that I am not convinced that any of these actors are American… or indeed, have even heard an American talk.

Next week we get to see Rory in his pants. If I am completely honest with myself, this will probably be my sole reason for tuning in.

 

Note: A review of Dinosaurs on a Spaceship is absent from this blog because I have yet to see it. I was without the internet for quite a while whilst moving house. Once I have watched it, if I have anything major to say I will post a late review.

Who Review: Asylum of the Daleks

Contains both SPOILERS and very strong (negative) opinions on the Doctor Who episode ‘Asylum of the Daleks’.  You are allowed to disagree with me. That’s what is great about opinions; everyone gets their own. 

If you, like me, hated this episode, you can also read Alex Day's review here if you haven't already. He makes a lot of very accurate points. As does this review, which brings up a lot of points I missed.

I wasn’t entirely sure if I was going to do Doctor Who reviews this year, but after watching ‘Asylum of the Daleks’ I just had too many thoughts not to share them with the internet. I may or may not continue with these; I have finally learnt my lesson about promising things to this blog.

I have mixed feelings about the newest offering, but sadly the majority of these feelings are negative. I spent the majority of this episode hating everything about it, only for there to be a few redeeming factors nearer the end. Unfortunately, I don’t like to spend an entire episode glowering moodily at my TV screen. I want it to capture me and whisk me away to Whodom, maybe keeping me in the dark and definitely keeping me on my toes… but not keeping me in a state of annoyance. 

Let us start with the sudden return to the frankly terrible CGI of series one of New Who.  Back in 2005 it was entirely excusable, as it was a new show again and probably had a smaller budget. But now? You can’t get away with those shoddy telescope heads, guys. You just can’t. 

If you are a seasoned fan (such as myself), you probably saw the set photos of Rory storming out on Amy. You are perhaps even the type of fan who was building up for a gut-wrenching, soul-destroying event that ripped the Pond family apart and scattered it on the floor along with what would be left of your heart… only to get first no explanation, and then the very poor explanation of ‘life happens’.  That works for minor characters that the audience isn’t invested in, having seen them fight (and die) for each other on multiple occasions. We need so much more than ‘life happens’.

I've been preparing my fangirl heart months in advance for nothing!

 Also, the fact that Amy is a model now bugs me. I feel that to be an entirely unnecessary plot point, one that was written in just because Karen Gillian is playing Amy. We get it, she's hot. We can get our fill of Gillian hotness from her photoshoots as an actress.

The Doctor sums up everyone’s thoughts on the Dalek’s suddenly asking him for help… “This is new.” Damn right it’s new, Doctor. They just rewrote the Dalek’s entire personality. And not even in the same awesome way as they did back in ‘Daleks in Manhattan’ where there is a) a huge build up, b) a big reveal and c) a path of logic leading up to the event. We know exactly why the Dalek’s want the Doctor’s help, and why they saw the need for merging Dalek and human DNA. Here there are (suddenly) hundreds of Dalek’s all nice and cosy on a spaceship with a range of new powers. What exactly do you need the Doctor’s help for then? Already I’m a sceptic, and that’s not good.

I’m not going to even begin to talk about how the Doctor then just helps them. His greatest enemies, the race that eliminated his own… and he just helps them. Because they ask. They didn’t even say please. I know, I know, they force him into the Asylum along with Amy and Rory. But right before that he’s brainstorming ideas how to help them, talking of task forces and generally just being a big ole’ lovely to them. WHAT ARE YOU DOING. 

We interrupt this episode of Doctor Who to bring you Matrix Rory. Sure. Also is it just me, or from this point on does this slowly begin to feel like an episode of that ancient show ‘The Crystal Maze’?

To the Crystal Dome, Neo!

On to Oswin, our newest Who companion. Now, I was really looking forward to the reveal of Jenna Louise Coleman, and I was thoroughly disappointed with her random introduction when there was already quite a lot to be going on with. This, I feel, is Moffat’s biggest flaw; his rule seems to be throw everything in at once to make up for the gaping plot holes and bounding leaps over important events (cough, Amy and Rory’s divorce, cough). I was beginning to warm to her character and was suitably intrigued as to where/when she has come from. I also loved how she is possibly the first person in Whodom to meet the Doctor and not trust him immediately with her life. Unfortunately, all her mystery vanished completely upon the revelation that she is in fact a Dalek (side note: how was her voice coming through as ‘human’ over the speakers? If she had a full conversion, her only voice should have been her Dalek voice. What? What?).  I can only take consolation in the fact that I know she will be back (as she is set to be the next companion), but I am so much more ‘meh’ about her than I was before. 

Got milk?

 Can we please now talk about how Oswin deleted the Doctor from the memory of the ENTIRE DALEK RACE?! And I know it gives us all the chance to bounce up and down and go “They said the thing! They said the thing!” when character’s chant “Doctor who? Doctor who?” over and over, but this is getting old. And it very much wasn’t worth the tiny thrill it gave me this time; the Dalek’s don’t know who the Doctor is? As a plot point they exist only as the Doctor’s enemy! You can’t just brush them under the carpet like that!

Overall, I was thoroughly underwhelmed with the opening episode to series seven. I just wish that they would put Moffat back on monster duty where he does an exceptional job, and doesn’t make me want to throw my Doctor Who charm bracelet in the nearest river. Next week: space dinosaurs. If I can muster up the effort, I guess I’ll talk about how ridiculous that is later.