Who Review: Asylum of the Daleks

Contains both SPOILERS and very strong (negative) opinions on the Doctor Who episode ‘Asylum of the Daleks’.  You are allowed to disagree with me. That’s what is great about opinions; everyone gets their own. 

If you, like me, hated this episode, you can also read Alex Day's review here if you haven't already. He makes a lot of very accurate points. As does this review, which brings up a lot of points I missed.

I wasn’t entirely sure if I was going to do Doctor Who reviews this year, but after watching ‘Asylum of the Daleks’ I just had too many thoughts not to share them with the internet. I may or may not continue with these; I have finally learnt my lesson about promising things to this blog.

I have mixed feelings about the newest offering, but sadly the majority of these feelings are negative. I spent the majority of this episode hating everything about it, only for there to be a few redeeming factors nearer the end. Unfortunately, I don’t like to spend an entire episode glowering moodily at my TV screen. I want it to capture me and whisk me away to Whodom, maybe keeping me in the dark and definitely keeping me on my toes… but not keeping me in a state of annoyance. 

Let us start with the sudden return to the frankly terrible CGI of series one of New Who.  Back in 2005 it was entirely excusable, as it was a new show again and probably had a smaller budget. But now? You can’t get away with those shoddy telescope heads, guys. You just can’t. 

If you are a seasoned fan (such as myself), you probably saw the set photos of Rory storming out on Amy. You are perhaps even the type of fan who was building up for a gut-wrenching, soul-destroying event that ripped the Pond family apart and scattered it on the floor along with what would be left of your heart… only to get first no explanation, and then the very poor explanation of ‘life happens’.  That works for minor characters that the audience isn’t invested in, having seen them fight (and die) for each other on multiple occasions. We need so much more than ‘life happens’.

I've been preparing my fangirl heart months in advance for nothing!

 Also, the fact that Amy is a model now bugs me. I feel that to be an entirely unnecessary plot point, one that was written in just because Karen Gillian is playing Amy. We get it, she's hot. We can get our fill of Gillian hotness from her photoshoots as an actress.

The Doctor sums up everyone’s thoughts on the Dalek’s suddenly asking him for help… “This is new.” Damn right it’s new, Doctor. They just rewrote the Dalek’s entire personality. And not even in the same awesome way as they did back in ‘Daleks in Manhattan’ where there is a) a huge build up, b) a big reveal and c) a path of logic leading up to the event. We know exactly why the Dalek’s want the Doctor’s help, and why they saw the need for merging Dalek and human DNA. Here there are (suddenly) hundreds of Dalek’s all nice and cosy on a spaceship with a range of new powers. What exactly do you need the Doctor’s help for then? Already I’m a sceptic, and that’s not good.

I’m not going to even begin to talk about how the Doctor then just helps them. His greatest enemies, the race that eliminated his own… and he just helps them. Because they ask. They didn’t even say please. I know, I know, they force him into the Asylum along with Amy and Rory. But right before that he’s brainstorming ideas how to help them, talking of task forces and generally just being a big ole’ lovely to them. WHAT ARE YOU DOING. 

We interrupt this episode of Doctor Who to bring you Matrix Rory. Sure. Also is it just me, or from this point on does this slowly begin to feel like an episode of that ancient show ‘The Crystal Maze’?

To the Crystal Dome, Neo!

On to Oswin, our newest Who companion. Now, I was really looking forward to the reveal of Jenna Louise Coleman, and I was thoroughly disappointed with her random introduction when there was already quite a lot to be going on with. This, I feel, is Moffat’s biggest flaw; his rule seems to be throw everything in at once to make up for the gaping plot holes and bounding leaps over important events (cough, Amy and Rory’s divorce, cough). I was beginning to warm to her character and was suitably intrigued as to where/when she has come from. I also loved how she is possibly the first person in Whodom to meet the Doctor and not trust him immediately with her life. Unfortunately, all her mystery vanished completely upon the revelation that she is in fact a Dalek (side note: how was her voice coming through as ‘human’ over the speakers? If she had a full conversion, her only voice should have been her Dalek voice. What? What?).  I can only take consolation in the fact that I know she will be back (as she is set to be the next companion), but I am so much more ‘meh’ about her than I was before. 

Got milk?

 Can we please now talk about how Oswin deleted the Doctor from the memory of the ENTIRE DALEK RACE?! And I know it gives us all the chance to bounce up and down and go “They said the thing! They said the thing!” when character’s chant “Doctor who? Doctor who?” over and over, but this is getting old. And it very much wasn’t worth the tiny thrill it gave me this time; the Dalek’s don’t know who the Doctor is? As a plot point they exist only as the Doctor’s enemy! You can’t just brush them under the carpet like that!

Overall, I was thoroughly underwhelmed with the opening episode to series seven. I just wish that they would put Moffat back on monster duty where he does an exceptional job, and doesn’t make me want to throw my Doctor Who charm bracelet in the nearest river. Next week: space dinosaurs. If I can muster up the effort, I guess I’ll talk about how ridiculous that is later. 

A New Project - The Amateur World Architects

Hello blog. I know, I know, it’s been a while. But I’m afraid that I have been cheating on you with another writing platform…

About a month a month ago I watched a John Green ‘Vlogbrothers’ video where he recommended that young writers join a website called Figment. Not expecting much out of it, I checked it out. I am incredibly glad that I did.

Figment, if you are unaware, is a website for young writers where they can post their work, receive feedback and interact with other young writers. It’s brilliant if you’re like me and you are in general terrified of people reading your work, because it’s so much easier letting total strangers read it. The positive feedback and constructive criticism I have received (on a piece I put up there purely for practice and to test out my style) had been so motivating and really improved my confidence. I even – shock horror – allowed my friends to take a look at it. Trust me, that’s a huge improvement on practically hyperventilating anytime I considered showing anyone my stories. 

One more really cool thing has come about from my joining Figment. I joined up with some other like-minded writers for a project called the ‘Amateur World Architects’, a vlogging project where we aim to create a community for aspiring fantasy and sci-fi authors. Each of the nine have a day of the week (with obviously a couple of doubled up days) where we post a vlog talking about the writing process, world building, writers block, general fantasy/sci-fi and basically anything under that theme. 

 

Our founder Joe, and his magnificent goatee, introduces the project

 It’s been really fun getting to know everyone involved and I’m very excited about this! We already have a week of videos up, so it would be awesome if you could check us out. We’re all still brand new to vlogging, and I’ll be honest; it’s a bit scary! But, like I said, also very exciting and I think it’s going to be really beneficial to our own writing. 

If you’re interested in checking us out on YouTube, or having a read of that story I mentioned, I’ll post the links below. And if you’re a budding writer yourself, I would highly encourage you to join Figment!

The ‘Amateur World Architects’ YouTube 

AWA Twitter 

Figment Story: ‘Only Skin Deep’ 

Join Figment!

The 'F' Word

That’s right, the dreaded F word, the controversial term that splits the world into “USE IT!”, “DON’T USE IT!” and the perhaps more worrying, “Meh.” Today when I woke up, I decided I wanted to talk about feminism.

As an English student, I’ve done plenty of analysing things from a feminist perspective. If I’m in student-mode I can look at a film, read a book or watch an advertisement and pick it apart in terms of its portrayal of gender roles and stereotypes. However it takes a pause for thought in the rest of my life to notice the way the scales are shifted, which is of course how these stereotypes are reinforced. It’s simply because we forget to notice them. 

I have held off talking about this on my blog for a couple of reasons, one of which being the general perception of feminists around nowadays. But as this is something I actually feel quite strongly about I decided it was time I said so. Many people seem to think feminism is an outdated concept, and can we just stop banging on about it now please? Feminism is from back in the days when women couldn’t vote or work or god forbid have an opinion or an idea. 

Aren’t kittens just the cutest?

Whilst things are obviously now a lot more equal than they used to be (the above sketch being funny because nowadays it seems absurd), there are still these myths about females and femininity supported by the media that can seep into our brains and, unless someone sticks up their hand to question it, can be accepted as the truth. 

It annoys me (rant, rave) when females in the media perpetuate myths about female sexuality being an inherently bad thing. There are obviously songs out there that completely objectify women and may seem worse than the one I am about to discuss, but these types of songs are so obviously sexist you will only accept the message they’re sending consciously, if at all. It’s the subtler ones that are guiltier of enforcing these myths about women because you accept them as normal without thinking too much on it. I was listening to a Taylor Swift song the other day, once which I had previously decided that I quite liked and that some of the lyrics were quite clever… then I really thought about it. One line in the song goes;

“She’s not a saint and she’s not what you think, she’s an actress

She’s better known for the things that she does on the mattress…”

“Better known for the things that she does on the mattress”. A sharp comment designed to bring down this other girl’s worth by implying she is infamous for her bedroom antics, and your immediate response is to agree with this. What a whore! Now swap that “she” for a “he”. Is it still an insult? Or by changing the gender of this person has it magically turned into a compliment? Check out that guy, he’s well known for the things he does on the mattress… I actually like Taylor Swift’s music, but the messages in her lyrics are completely skewed. Listen to ‘You Belong with Me’ and the above song ‘Better than Revenge’ back to back, and one could be a direct response to the other if they weren’t written by the same girl.

 Make up your mind, Taylor

There’s also the way it’s much more acceptable for a women to be seen having/doing/using things that are assigned “masculine”, but less acceptable for men to be seen having/doing/using more “feminine” things (for more on this, see Laci Green’s video ‘Men & Femininity’). There is currently an advert on TV for hair dye, a product that could and would be used by both men and women. The closing line of the ad went something like, “Now your hair can sparkle and dance, just like you!” Think about it… how many men do you know that would be happy buying a product that promises that they will “sparkle and dance”? I don’t think I would want to pick up a product promising this. Can’t it just dye my hair and have done with it? As a female, do I have to have hair that can sparkle and dance? That’s a pretty big ask for hair…

And then there is of course the problem that in the instances when equality does occur, it’s seen as being in favour of women. For example? The other day I read an article by a woman who had decided, upon marriage, to keep her last name. A perfectly equal situation; she kept her name, her husband kept his. Except everyone then assumed that she was obviously the one ‘in charge’, the one ‘wearing the trousers’ in the relationship. Aside from the inherent sexist implications of the phrase ‘wearing the trousers’ (trousers = male, male = power. Obviously) this is a completely unfair judgement. 

So it might be uncool or even ‘old fashioned’ to be a feminist these days. And of course, things are a lot more equal than they used to be. But just because we’re some of the way there, doesn’t mean we’re all of the way there.

A Letter From My Past Self

So I just received this into my email inbox. It is completely accurate, and kind of funny to be reading what I wrote a year ago. Thought I'd post it here so the internet can read me talking to myself like normal, well-adjusted people do.

The following is an e-mail from the past, composed 11 months and 30 days ago, on April 01, 2011. It is being delivered from the past through FutureMe.org

Dear Future Self Avoiding Assignments,

You really should stop procrastinating you know.

Hello there. So I'm hoping by now that blog thing you've just started has kicked of and we're getting a gazillion hits a day or something ridiculous... or at the very least you're still doing it. We really are rubbish at keeping up with stuff.

Speaking of which, today was another deadline day for uni and you finished TWO assignments this morning... really? Just no. Just... no.

Right now... yes, right now, exactly... you're having one of you're "oh my god, I actually remember writing those words, and spelling 'writing' wrong and having to correct it... this is so weird" moments. Yeah. Embrace the moment.

Also, right now when you read this a few things will have happened. Skiing in Canada (ohmygodthirteendays), summer in Bournemouth, Beach Break, your TWENTIETH BIRTHDAY OH MY GOD. How does it feel? You're old you know. Twenty is like... old.

So I hope uni is still going well, and you still have all your amazing friends. Maybe a few more, that would be fun. Also I hope you're still climbing and have advanced on the ukulele. Trying not to have too many expectations, you know how rubbish we are at NYE Resolutions.

Now go do that assignment.

Lots of loves ('cos you should love yourself)

Me

P.S.. I sure hope the world hasn't ended already/zombie apolocolypse happened etc. Otherwise I just wasted a bunch of time on this... hmmm.

Live.

You would be hard pressed to find something that makes me smile as wide or as genuinely as live music. It’s the reason people pay through the teeth to stand in a crowded room for three hours. It’s the reason people don the wellies and highly attractive waterproof jackets to camp out in the mud for a long weekend. It’s the reason people spend an entire day in a queue. None of these sound like particularly enjoyable activities to partake in, but here’s the thing… live music makes it all completely worthwhile.

I have just got home from a Seth Lakeman concert, with support from Winter Mountain. In a weeks’ time I will remember it as being a truly amazing night and a stand out gig. Tomorrow morning when asked “How was it?”, I will garble a combination of the words “awesome”, “epic”, “brilliant” and “wow.” But for the next few hours, tonight was the single greatest gig I have ever attended, and beyond that it was indescribable. That’s how live music makes me feel, that the most recent experience of it was the absolute best. I’m writing this to try and capture that feeling.

Seth Lakeman - Taken from http://www.facebook.com/sethlakeman

One of the reasons I love live music is how musicians and singers always look ridiculously happy doing what they do. This is something you just don’t get to see with other professions; sure, someone can tell you how much they may love their job. But actually seeing it in their faces is something completely different. I’m a little bit addicted to McFly concerts, and for me the best thing about them is how much fun all four boys are having whilst on stage. They run around, they crack jokes, they jump about on aerial walkways firing t shirts out of canons into the crowd… it’s infectious and I can’t get enough of it. It’s something you just don’t get from a recording. The guy playing percussion for Seth Lakeman tonight, introduced to us as Cormac (part of his drum kit was a metal bucket, and that’s just cool), had this brilliant smile on his face whilst he was playing and I was watching him just as much as I was watching Seth. It’s so much easier to enjoy music when you can see the artist is thoroughly enjoying themselves too.

Another thing is the energy you get from watching live music, and the way it completely renews your love for a song you might have become complacent about. I have loved the song ‘Lady of the Sea (Hear Her Calling)’ for months, but having listened to it over and over it’s now one I might be likely to skip past on my iPod. Hearing it live tonight, it made me want to climb onto the roof and scream out, “I BLOODY LOVE THIS SONG!” When the artist is right in front of you, furiously playing the violin or stomping around the stage in time to the beat, it’s incredibly difficult to forget how much you adore a song, and so much easier to remember why you loved it in the first place. Also, when watching amazing music being created right in front of you it makes you appreciate how well everything has been composed and put together. As my friend said tonight, when something has been recorded in a studio it’s probably all been done separately, and then layered over each other. But on stage, each person has to get their timings perfect and watching them all get it absolutely spot on is a brilliant and unique feeling. 

Seeing someone live is also a great way to discover new music, that you might not feel as strongly about if your first experience of them is a recording. Tonight I was introduced to Martin Smyth and Joe Francis, also known as Winter Moutnain and the support act for Seth Lakeman's tour. I'm sure I would have enjoyed them  if I'd heard of them through some other medium, but all my friends and I could say to each other tonight after their set was, "Oh my god. They're amazing!" The last time this happened to me was at last summer's Beach Break Live festival, and the artist was Ed Sheeran. There's no better way to fall in love with an artist than to hear them they way they're supposed to be heard. I really hope to see more of these two guys, they completely deserve the love and support!

Taken from www.facebook.com/wintermountain

If you’re someone that doesn’t go and see a lot of live music, I would strongly advise changing that.  I’m writing this now because once it’s over, I always manage to forget exactly how live music makes me feel; alive.

Check out Seth Lakeman and Winter Mountain, who needless to say, are both phenomenal live.

Into the Arena: 12 Characters That Would/Wouldn’t Survive ‘The Hunger Games’

If you haven’t read Suzanne Collins’ ‘The Hunger Games’, what are you doing? Close your internet browser and find a copy immediately.

Are you back? Good. You should now be familiar with the premise of Collins’ dystopian survival novel, the film adap of which will be out on the 23^rd of March; twenty-four teenagers from the twelve districts of Panem are randomly selected as tributes to enter the brutal, sadistic, highly televised Hunger Games arena. The winner: whoever lives to the end.

Since reading this amazing trilogy (in the space of three nights) I have, naturally, given some thought as to who I think would or would not survive in the arena, battling against nature and the other tributes. Here are the twelve fictional characters I think would be interesting to watch in the arena (disclaimer: in the context of this all being fictional, of course. I wouldn’t actually get any enjoyment from watching people kill each other off for entertainment purposes).

Name: Harry Potter

Fictional Universe: JK Rowling’s ‘Harry Potter’ series

Main Skill: Magic

Verdict: The ability to cast an effective Shield Charm would be of a great help, but would only get him so far in the competition. His noble unwillingness to kill others would hinder him when it came to one-to-one combat with other tributes, plus his ‘saving-people-thing’ (as identified by Hermione in ‘Order of the Phoenix’) would probably have him going backwards in trying to be the last one left alive, especially if he forms alliances within the arena.

Name: Elizabeth Bennet

Fictional Universe: Austen and Grahame-Smith’s ‘Pride and Prejudice and Zombies’

Main Skill: Competent with various forms of weaponry and martial arts

Verdict: As I’m opting for the slightly adapted version of Miss Bennet, I would say she had a very good chance at being in the running for winner of the Hunger Games. I’d bet on her even if she didn’t manage to get her hands on a few choice weapons from the Cornucopia, as her ninja-like hand-to-hand combat skills that serve her so well in fighting legions of the undead would be a tremendous asset in the arena. 

A real heroine

Name: (Captain) Jack Sparrow

Fictional Universe: ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’

Main Skill: General piracy

Verdict: Distinct lack of rum available in the arena would have him screwed from the start. He’d have to somehow get the alcoholic Haymitch as his mentor and go for the pity vote. The best he could hope for is an ocean arena.

Name: Sherlock Holmes (the Moffat/Cumberbatch edition)

Fictional Universe: BBC’s ‘Sherlock’, inspired by the ‘Sherlock Holmes’ stories of Arthur Conan Doyle

Main Skill: Powers of deduction

Verdict: Sherlock’s ability to read people in seconds and accurately predict their next move will have him miles away from other tribute’s next hunting spot before they even decide to go there. As a highly-functioning sociopath, his lack compassion for others will fall in his favour when it comes to the tricky issue of ridding the arena of other tributes, however I have no idea how he’d fare in the wild. Maybe evasion would be his best course of action.

Name: Bella Swan

Fictional Universe: Stephanie Meyer’s ‘Twilight’ saga

Main Skill: Umm…

Verdict: Seeing as Bella’s main skill (as I have deducted from the four books… yes, sadly I read all four) appears to be getting herself into life threatening situations, she should be right at home in the Hunger Games arena. Unfortunately this skill will have her killed at the Cornucopia as soon as the starting bell goes off. And even if she made it away before some other tribute got to her, she’d probably throw herself off the nearest cliff after being apart from Edward for more than twenty minutes.  

Bella's Survival Tips: Curl up on the forest floor and wait for someone to come and save you

Name: Bond. James Bond.

Fictional Universe: ‘James Bond’ books and movies

Main Skill:

Verdict: If he could get the good folks from District Three (Technology) to sponsor him in the Games and get himself some futuristic gadgetry, he’d be pretty set. However with his main competition looking to be Elizabeth Bennet, he’d have a hard time trying to woo her into a false sense of security if it came down to just the two of them; she a sharp cookie when it comes to men.

Name: Homer Simpson

Fictional Universe: ‘The Simpsons’

Main Skill: Eating and Sleeping

Verdict: Oh dear. Poor Marge.  

Name: Rory Williams

Fictional Universe: BBC’s ‘Doctor Who’, series 5 and 6

Main Skill: Dying

Verdict: Whilst Rory Williams is particularly good at dying (“I’m dead, aren’t I? Again…”), he is also exceptionally good at coming back to life.  I’m not sure how long he could get away with this in the arena though, as eventually someone would get sick of him popping back again and again (and again and again). He would quite possibly form an alliance with young Mr Potter, and if they survived until the end neither of them would be willing to off the other.  

Name: Sheldon Cooper

Fictional Universe: ‘The Big Bang Theory’

Main Skill: Massive intellect

Verdict: Oh Sheldon. Unfortunately this brainiac would probably panic when faced with the alarming amount of nature in the arena and his extensive knowledge on theoretical physics would count for nought.  He would potentially try and tag along with Sherlock, but would find himself in danger if he asked the consulting detective to sing “Soft Kitty” to him when he gets either injured or ill.

On the other hand, maybe he'll go into a mad rage and kill everyone off when they try and sit in 'his tree'

Name: Count Dracula

Fictional Universe: Bram Stoker’s ‘Dracula’ and its various adaptations

Main Skill: Preying on the necks of various

Verdict: I would have high hopes for him, as long as he found a dark cave early on. He wouldn’t be short on sustenance with eleven juicy tributes to snack on, and the matter of lunch would also bring him a step closer to being the last one left alive. But if Bella survives long enough to find him he’ll be throwing himself in the path of Elizabeth just to get away from her trying to restyle him as her new vampire beau.

Name: Gaston

Fictional Universe: Disney’s ‘Beauty and the Beast’

Main Skill: Strength

Verdict: I had to include a Disney character somewhere, and is a perfect fit as one of the obnoxious, bloodthirsty career tributes. Likely to make it quite far in the Games due to brute strength and aggression (emulating Cato from the actual ‘Hunger Games’ novel), but with the mind of Sherlock, the skills of Elizabeth and the fangs of Dracula present, he would likely meet an unfortunate end sooner or later.

His 'unfortunate end' probably sneaking up on him whilst he's admiring his own reflection in a lake

Name: Nathan Young

Fictional Universe: E4’s ‘Misfits’

Main Skill: Immortality

Verdict: Well. That skill says it all, doesn’t it? Sorry everyone. This cocky ASBO-teen could saunter around the arena and starve to death, get shot, be pushed into a lake, set on fire and still beat Rory at springing back to life. Unless of course we’re dealing with post-series two Nathan, when his superpower is swapped for the ability to pull of cheap magic tricks and scam the Vegas casinos… in which case, Nathan would probably be second only to Homer in losing the Hunger Games. He would just get on everyone else’s nerves too much.

Who do you think would make a good/terrible tribute in the Hunger Games?